Had a mixed day. Work was good and then I had a GAL activity planned but I was feeling a bit lazy, but I got myself out of the laziness funk and just went and it was good. So much of GAL and everything right now is just pushing myself for the first 30 seconds and then it's alright.
Missed my kids a lot after the GAL activity. Also really missed the intimacy with W - being physically close; having the familiar smell of her skin; just nuzzling up with her etc. Just missed that familiarity and connection a lot this evening.
Made me also feel a bit sad thinking about whether she misses the same things from me right now. My guess is probably not because she's so angry at me and probably can't really stand being around me for too long without negative thoughts coming back. Also started thinking about if she's getting her needs met by someone else and that just made me a bit mad.
So, just a weird day in general. Came home and made myself a good dinner and listened to a podcast while having dinner.
I know I will have such days and I missed her a lot today. Maybe just missed having that close connection and the intimacy.
