i realize that i do have a lot more background to share... i will give it in pieces... as i have time... for now let me say that my derailing began as an online EA with someone from my past... and it took a couple of years to come about... we found each other on classmates.com... did a quick check-in... it had been about ten years since we had last spoken... up until that time, we had maintained a sort of friendship... just getting in touch every so often... going to lunch... meeting for a drink... no big deal... definitely platonic, even though we had dated in the past, and had known each other forever... we were both married at that point... it was when i became a mother that we had lost touch... plus i had moved away from my hometown about that time too, so we just lost touch...
after classmates, a couple of years later we reconnected via facebook... while we kept in touch via social media, there was nothing other than casual friendship for the longest time... and then one day he suggested we meet up for a tequila shot--which is something we used to do together... and it was something my husband and i enjoyed doing together from time-to-time... the second i read his suggestion, i knew it was wrong... it scared me... i literally walked away from my desktop... there was fear, but there was also an excitement that surprised me... but instead of addressing the invitation straight on, instead of right-out declining, i made light of it... and it was set aside... for the time being...
over the next 8-10 months, we kind of began an EA... the thing is, i wasn't even into it... i could take or leave his messages to me... sometimes i would respond, sometimes i wouldn't... he was pretty consistent in messaging me, but i wasn't...
and then, one afternoon, while i was having Margaritas with my niece (another niece who is my age) and our family friend at Chili's--OM walks in... coincidence...
