the realization that, though I loved her once more than I can describe, and still do love her, that maybe she is no longer a person who I would want to spend the rest of my life with. And that makes me very, very sad, because she was such a good, sweet person, and still is, I think, deep down inside... but she could turn either way at this point, to dark (selfishness) or light (the person she was.) I don't know which way it's going to go, but now I may be in the weird position of stepping back, maybe even cutting the cord without her having even (AFAIK) resumed any contact with the OM.
Jim these recent contributions are hitting hard. I have recently mentioned in my own thread that I appear to be seeking ego boosts (I really like one of the D's class Moms). This is completely irrational but I am coming up to the first anniversary (not that I am going to signify it in any way - once again thanks to great advice here) and I am human. But any limerance I end up getting is going to be so counterproductive as I still cannot see any endgame in sight with my cake-eating W. My DD achieved a major milesone in church last night and I also confessed to the priest so I must keep the moral flag raised (I have to). With the holidays coming up I will also have to watch the drinking for obvious reasons. I am afaid that also due my job I am also extremely analytical!
best
Me 55, W 50 D 8 M 20 T 27 MIL w/ us BD 01/02/17 workplace A (12/09/16, EA -> PA) OM senior manager, long term W, child 14 now: limbo (my choice)
"Don't care what you may do, we got that attitude!" - Bad Brains
