Gordie... i too did a lot of what your wife has done... did what i could to "play family." while i was doing it, it seemed like the best of both worlds... but as i started reading these threads, i saw it from another point of view... that it was me trying to live two lives... and i could see that there was a phoniness in it... i would go back to the marital home and cook meals for my husband and sons, so they could have access to food while i was away living my own life... i would do laundry for my sons when i moved back from the opposite coast because i felt guilty for the time i was away... we would even have "family dinner" on Sundays...
