How to be an Alpha Male without being a j@rk or A$$...
H,
You can't can't go from super beta to alpha male overnight. Again there are no quick fixes here. I have been working on myself for over three years and still am a work in process.
Right now you should start to think about your vision of what life after D will look like for you. What will make H happy in the future?
Start with the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnagie
BTW an Alpha Male isn't a jerk or an a$$. He is confident, centered and a leader and has a purpose in life. He treats his lady like a queen and expects to be treated like a king in return.
