Another point about two-choice dilemmas, and then I'll shut up...
Confronting yourself is a painful thing to do - it's not easy. Schnarch makes the point that we only do this when the pain of maintaining the status quo is greater than the pain of moving forward. Also that marriage has a unique ability to put us in these dilemmas, because if we're true to our promises, then marriage presents us with a narrower range of choices than being single does. The "pain of maintaining the status quo" comes when we realize that to maintain that is to sell out - to violate our own integrity. To experience that pain is to have realized that the issue is one of personal integrity.
