What I generally try to do is follow her lead, if she brings up something or asks a question, etc. I will answer and discuss but I am generally not the one initiating the conversation. I don't do it all the time but I try really hard. I usually just play off of her lead sort of like a dance. With that said most of our interaction are with other people around so when I am talking to other Dad's for example I am always upbeat, happy and joking around. No matter how what her mood is I don't let it impact me. For example, at our D's soccer game on Friday night she seemed to be a little off. I have no clue what was going on but I still stood there and chatted with another Dad and joked, laughed, etc. Her bad mood or whatever was not going to impact mine. The next day she was more engaging so we had some conversations back and forth, especially when our D scored a couple of goals. She was also joking about another parent and asked me a couple of questions about our youngest. Just know that these conversation are not about our R or D, etc. they are very general in nature.
You just have to play it cool, have no expectations and don't read into her niceness. My w and I had no R or D conversations until she brought it up out of blue a month ago via text message. She never responded and hasn't brought it up since. so in a 6 month period the D word has come up twice since she moved out. The first time was 1 month after she left as I was struggling and did a temp check. The next time was 5 months later out of the blue with no acknowledgment or follow up of any kind on her part. But no conversations of us, recon and working on the MR. I just continue to play it cool and be patient.
I hope that helps. What you can't do is start to pursue her when she is being nice. She could be testing you to see if you will take the bait. I refer back to this quote when I am struggling:
The people on this site who try the hardest are the ones who have the least success. The harder they try the more they get rejected. Those who let go the fastest, heal the quickest and also are the ones who maximize their chances of getting the wayward back. It is only when you let go that you have your best chance.
