Will you ever be reunited with your W in a romantic relationship? Frankly the odds are against it. By a lot. That is the truth you might not want to hear. The main success of DBing is not restoring your marriage. The main success is restoring you and your sanity. Can you really not see that you changing your ways all of a sudden can seem like such an act to your W?
And another 2x4. You really can't put all the fault of the divorce on her. You really were a problem before she pulled the trigger.
Why do you have to agree to a divorce? I am not sure what state you live in but some states have it so that both parties have to agree to a divorce for it to go through or wait for a certain period and then file for a onesided divorce. That's what I wold do. I'd say, I do not want a divorce, but if you want one it is your divorce, I will not stand in your way, but agree to it I will not.
With regards to the parents and THE TALK with them, under do duress would I state that the divorce was a mutual thing. You spilling the beans on the affair will not help one bit and besides that, the truth will come out sooner or later anyhow. And even if the parents knew of the affair, would it make a difference? Nope.
Again. SHE IS GONE. No amount of begging, pleading and asking will change that. It will just make you look like a pathetic little worm. Even if she has any feelings left for you, they are buried under many many layers of other stuff. You aren't even a blimp on her radar.
Do get a lawyer's advice. Do not let her railroad you. She will try guilt tripping you.
Do not text her any more, except important stuff (kids, home burning,...). Do not call her, except important stuff. Do not try to catch up on 15 years of neglected housewives, neglected chores, neglected relationship. You are still trying to find that illusive silver bullet. There is no silver bullet.
I didn't say to act like a male pendulum, but you need to be a man. Given the timeline I am sad to say that the next couple of months will be the worst for you (yes, much worse than you are feeling now), but after that it does slowly get better.
You will make mistakes. No biggie, you will have to learn to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go forward.
You have been given the gift of time. What gift you ask? The gift of improving yourself to become the best you you can be. Personally if someone offered to restore my marriage and I would have to forget my changes and improvements, I would flatly refuse without even a second thought.
You might find my writings harsh, I am not apologizing. I am giving you facts and not sugarcoating anything. You will realize at one point that you need a kick in the pants every now and then.
Stay strong Mercury, your children need an awesome dad.
