Well as for the parents they are going to ask questions... however stating that you both want the divorce will relieve some of the pressure off of her during this talk. Doesnt mean you cant comeback and state your position to the parents at a later time.
As for the kids the only we statement i think you have a problem with is the divorce, because you cant disagree that you didnt have problems, you dont both love the kids, and it isnt their fault.
As for helping her move out, put your feelings and previous relationship aside, and help her in a way that you comfortable with. i.e. what would you do for a friend that was a girl, that you were not trying to get into their pants. Dont help her setup her new place, let her do that. She will like the freedom and will give her a taste of how it will be without you there. I would also do no contact after that. let her come to you, show her that you dont need her and will be fine without her. You have kids so there will be contact but keep it to the kids or whatever she brings up only. Make her wonder whats going through your head instead of the other way around.
As for the alone time, use it to improve yourself, for you not her. You have to put you on a pedestal now. do whats in the best interests for you, to become healthy mentally again. And it wont be easy, if it was nobody would be here.
Originally Posted By: rexgm
would say at this point make sure your protect yourself and forget about reconciliation. Make sure you get as much time as you can with your kids and fight for as much time as you can in the divorce proceedings. They will be the ones that will need you to be there for them. During this multi yr affair, she had what she wanted her AP and you. You need to remove one and the only one you can control is yourself so remove yourself. If she comes back great, if she doesnt then you are better off. No matter what you will have to let her affair play out, because she wont leave until it does.
It is scary to invest so much time in a relationship to only be placed back on the market unwillingly. You have to learn from it and realize you are better than how you are being treated and move on.
How you act now will determine how your kids will act in the future if they are placed in the same situation. How would you want your child to act if their future spouse had been cheating on them for yrs...
Me 47 STBXW 44 M ~20 D13 S15 BD mid 17 A Disc. 2 months after BD but evidence found ~2yr OM decade older S Imminent D Soon after
