The confusion you are experiencing is perfectly normal and all of us here have had it and perhaps still do.
None of us here are professionals and I certainly am not any sort of expert in the human condition.
I think you are doing the right thing by examining and questioning your own perception of things. There's an old line that there are "three sides to every story - his, her's and the truth".
As tough as it is, you need to separate your own vision of yourself from him. Part of what we are taught here is to be complete in ourselves and that we are worthy.
Another thing that you can try is to pull off the rose coloured glasses. It's not easy. I don't see as you've identified your ages or how long you had been together but since you are here on the MLC forum I can assume that this has been a long-term relationship. Part of what I feel makes a long-term relationship work is to minimize those parts of the other person that you find less attractive and focus on the good parts. But when you look at this person in the cold light of dawn without those glasses on in these circumstances, you need to ask yourself honestly how surprised you are. In my case and with hindsight, I'm not too surprised that my STBX did stray. And indeed there may have been prior incidents. According to the rumour mill - there were.
As far as his "suddenly" finding love after a few weeks - assuming that it has indeed only been a few weeks - he sounds like he is running, racing around searching for something that he believes he is missing. As job has written to me very very many times (I'm a slow learner) - we didn't break them - we can't fix them.
As far as those friends go who are supporting him on his mad dash "to be happy" - pay them no mind. People who haven't been through this have no comprehension of the sheer volume of pain we are going through. Relationships are not disposable.
There's lots of reading through the links Cadet found. The ones from AmyC really helped me to understand that I don't understand and perhaps never will.
Stay strong.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
