Rebuilding my life #3

[lcause]

So, I'm officially divorced now. I thought I would have had some sort of a feeling but I think I've processed this through too many times already to emotionally feel anything anymore - after all, I knew this would be the end result from the beginning.

2017 certainly marks a year of total change for me. So much can happen in a year. From the most beautiful thing in the world (well, end of 2016) to one of the saddest ones that can happen to a person with mere 5 months in between. Life has its ways... However life is not going to stop here. We all decide how we choose to see the situations we are forced to face - we can either grow or stay miserable. I chose to grow. Life has a lot in store for each one of us but we have to put in the work and seek for the individual next steps that, at the end, combined, do create the entire journey for us. I still do cry sometimes but not because the end of my marriage but because of not having gained the greatness I so desperately want to achieve.

Things are ok between us. We are still extremely amicable, no fights or anything at all. I don't ask or send anything, XW does contact me more - but all of it is related to kids. XW asked if I'd want to join to S's birthday party she's going to organize for her side of relatives and I politely denied. I find it odd in fact, because frankly put, I don't have any intentions of showing up in the same places anymore, especially on those occasions. You are with your next partner now - so children will have two different parties. I personally find it odd that divorced couples come together to spend e.g. Christmas but that's just me.

I'm eagerly waiting for what 2018 brings. I just keep taking the small steps, and there are so many things I want to try. My goal is to each and every day force myself to live in the moment, yet I keep reminding myself that a year from now, I can look back and say I grew. I learned. I lived.

Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas for everyone. All the best for the future