Next time try validation- "do I say things that give you the impression I think that about you? How does that make you feel? I am sorry you feel that way, I will try and work on that." ... Don't intervene like that unless she asks you. Read Sandi's post and try to understand, your W does not like you right now, she may even hate you and find you repulsive. She doesn't want your help. One of the most hurtful things I found out after BD was I snooped and saw a note my XW had written to a friend that her "biggest fear" was getting sick and me having to take care of her. She said that she hated the very thought of it. I mean what a blow to the stomach that the woman that loved you so much not too long ago now can't stand the sight of you, but this is your reality now just as it is/ was for most of us here. It will eventually change, but not anytime soon. So quit trying to help her unless she specifically asks.
