Separation imminent....

[Hermes]

Typical WAS, doesn't want to face the fallout and repercussions of what she's done! My suggestion is not to sugarcoat it like you were in on this lovely little decision. Sure it's fine to ask for love and support, but mutual thing? No. Your job is to keep THE WAY HOME paved and smooth, not the way AWAY. Don't go filling in potholes for her.

I realize you think you have detached, but you are confused about some of it. To lovingly detach means that you don't act like a son of a b'tch. It does not mean that you try to touch her, snuggle up against her, try to sneak a little hug, or whatever. To lovingly detach is all about your attitude. You don't act cold, mad, hateful, give the silent treatment, etc. You don't do things or act in a way to punish her. But don't jump to the other end of the spectrum and think you can act all chummy and buddy-buddy with her. Staying balanced seems to be difficult for LBH's.
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Detaching is stepping away, but it's mostly an attitude. Detaching has to be in your thought pattern. If it isn't, then you have to train yourself. Stop focusing on your WW, and focus on you and your kids. From what I've read, everything has been about her, and you trying to win her back. The cases I have seen successful came when the H let go of his WW. I mean, really let her go. Can you do it? Btw, detaching does not mean you have to stop loving her.

Success seems to come when the couple have time apart. Living together under the same roof while she's sleeping with another man is not working. If you physically separated today, she would still keep the A going. It doesn't happen overnight. It takes time for her to realize her fantasy is not her reality. Her and the OM will have their time, but for how long is anyone's guess. Maybe she will get her eyes open, and maybe not. But in the meantime, you are making a new life for yourself. When you let her go and you are happy about your new life, it has more affect on her than any of these things you've tried to do to bust the D.