I did pretty much the same thing your W did; set up Xmas dinner with godparents without my W. She was pissed I didn't coordinate, and she was right. So are you.
That said, either step up this year and do right by your son, or do what AnotherStander said.
It sounds to me like she's crazy, but you were goading her, therefore you were both wrong.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17