Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 7

[Holding]

S14's birthday is this week, and STBXW took it upon herself to make arrangements for his birthday dinner without talking to me. She invited her family to attend a dinner at a restaurant (she has relatives in town, I do not). To be fair, this is what we've always done, but things are different now, and I was really p1ssed she didn't talk to me first. When I told her (via text) I was disappointed in her decision to do this without talking to me, she said she didn't realize she needed to check with me, as this is what we've always done. I asked her to check with me in the future. She told me to stop it, then she said the conversation was over since I was being "unreasonable". WTF?

I think I have a few different ways I can handle the dinner:

1) Man up, don't let the in-laws intimidate me, and go to S14's birthday dinner. Show them a confident, strong Holding. This is S14's day, and I should be there for him.

1a) Same as 1, but invite my mom to come into town for the dinner . This will get on all the in-laws nerves. Not really productive, but fun to consider.

2) Tell STBXW I won't be attending, as I don't think it'll be an enjoyable experience. I'll essentially be the elephant in the room. We'll eventually be doing separate B-days anyway, so why not start now? Show STBXW that I will not play along with her game. Make a new custom for his birthday, where just he and I can go do something fun on the next day.

Opinions? I can see advantages to both approaches.

On Saturday I met with my NGS meetup group. They all told me to go with option 2. They said, if I want STBXW or any of the in-laws to start seeing me differently, I need to refrain from going.

GAL: Aside from my NGS group, I met up with a divorce group - a CATHOLIC support group for divorce! It's called "Journey of Hope", if you're interested. I met them at a restaurant, we had lunch, and I told them about my sitch. They've already been through the program, but I've been in contact with the woman who runs the program, and she invited me to one of their social gatherings. It was good to talk to them. Another group will start up in January, and I'll be going to that one.

I when to the gym 2 days this weekend. I've focused on cardio, but I'm starting to get more into weights. I'm trying to build up some tone and reduce the flab. The BD diet was a godsend, but the ol' appetite is coming back and I need to actively work to keep the weight off.

Sunday, when driving home after my second workout, I had a moment in the car where I realized I was building a new me. I felt a sense of peace. I thought about how STBXW is just not a good person for me.

Sunday Crazies: I've noticed STBXW usually has a spew of crazy on Sundays (a lot like Chris19's W starts her crazies on Friday). My STBXW just can't let a Sunday go by without fighting with me.

It all started when she texted me while I was working out, asked me where I was, and I ignored her. Later that night, in front of the kids, she kept asking me where I'd been, and I told her it was none of her business, my kids knew where I was, and she was no longer my keeper. I told her I didn't want to do this in front of the kids, but she kept going. She screamed "I just want to get the F out of here. Why won't you let me go?" I told her to go ahead and leave. She asked me when we can schedule mediation, and I said, "Really, this again? Do you have to ask me every week?" She said she was moving out in January. I just smirked.

We got into a sarcastic snippy fight with each other. She called me by full name at one point, to be clever I think, and I called her by her maiden name. She said she couldn't wait to get rid of my last name. She was in rare form, and I wasn't intimidated by her in the least. She played tough with me. I laughed at her several times. S10 asked her why she was being this way. She didn't respond. As she was walking away, I said, "And you asked for my forgiveness two weeks ago". She then said "I don't want your forgiveness".

This whole thing makes me see how completely unbalanced she is. She changes from day to day. I can't trust a single thing she says. I can't shield my sons from her craziness, so I think it's time for me to show them I'll stand up to it.

I feel bad for her. She's going through something horrible and lost her mind. No kidding, I wouldn't be surprised if she was legitimately diagnosed with a split personality or maybe a brain tumor.

Last night I prayed. I prayed for my boys to make it through these hard times. I prayed for myself, to start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I prayed for STBXW, for her to find peace and some form of happiness in her life.

Time for the 2x4's.