I am no Sandi, but here is my take on your options!
Originally Posted By: chris19
Sandi; I am trying to get down to brass-tax right now with you; and please be as blunt as you would like. I am trying to determine the outcome of this situation.
Don't try to determine the outcome of the situation. You don't know what's going to happen and you need to be okay and learn to thrive in the ambiguity. What you do know is going to happen is that you're becoming a better version of Chris and that's what's most important.
1) she will get so fed up with me not responding and not communicating with her that she will continue with her guilt and blame as I am the one causing the D (like she has been doing).
Classic manipulation. Let her put whatever blame she wants on you. She's deflecting. She's with OM and she's lying to you about it. Nothing about that is accountable for your side of the street.
2) she will get so fed up with me not responding to communicating with her that she will file.
That may be one outcome. There are other possibilities. If she files, let her file and do the work.
3) she will snap out and come to me with a humble and extreme apology asking for forgiveness, etc.
Maybe. But if her actions match her words and she shows remorse etc, then you can decide what to do. Right now it's a hypothetical, so don't worry about it.
4) I will eventually file.
That's totally okay too. Filing for D is a personal choice and there's tons on this board about why people have filed based on their circumstances. I am sure you can read up on it and make up your mind about what you want to do.
What am I missing.
Right now you need to keep NC/Dark and not fall for her manipulation and lies and guilt and control. Stop being afraid of her reactions. I know easier said then done, but I've done it and it's hugely liberating and empowering.
Just block her or find a way to not be in communication with her. She needs to show her worth by actions, not words.
