I was wondering have you two read the book "after the affair"? I am listening to it and it is actually pretty interesting. It gives points of view for both parties, the one who committed the affair and the one hurt by it. It lets you know what to expect and how to deal with the feelings in a constructive way.
H,
Not sure if you saw this, but it actually answers a lot of questions you're asking it actually has a chapter on getting physical again and pretty much states from both parties that it's going to be awkward and that is normal.
M:43 W:33 M:10 T:11 D:6 BD 8/12/17 Divorce Final 1/23/2019