Everything needs to have an order to it. One way to slow down the constant texting throughout the 24 hr period, is to have a set time that you correspond with her about business, kids, etc. If you randomly contact her to chat with the kids, it places you at the mercy of her confenience.

You should have a schedule for both parents when they can video chat with the kids, and it's best not to have it right before their bedtime (for small kids), IMHO. Why not suggest this to her?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!