Trying as best I can with Last Resort Technique

[MStarr]

On Monday we were supposed to start "the process" and try to come to as much agreement as possible before we start with mediation/lawyers. He sent me an incoherent email instead:
so sad to start this somehow

"i really miss kids living this way and i just want to keep options open

i want to be as fair and kind to each other as possible

im so sorry"

I have no idea what this means. I'm guessing "keeping his options open" has more to do with his current living arrangements than any kind of reconciliation. He lives in a cabin in the woods that the kids don't like to go to. In the past, when he has said "I want to be as fair and kind as possible", that was always a prelude to him being really mean and to monster. I interpret it now as he is really struggling to be fair and kind and will inevitably fail.

This week his emails have been friendly and not terse and angry. He even got me an iphone when he got my son one. Said he took advantage of a 2 for 1 promotion.

I have no idea what is currently going on in his head right now. I am still working very hard at "getting a life" and have been doing pretty well. Part of me wants to initiate divorce to take the control out of his hands, but strategically, I think it's probably smarter to make him lead and if he wants out, he will have to give me what I want. And of course a big part of me wants everything to go back to marriage albeit a much much better one than before.

Any insight is much appreciated!