Ok, I just got into the first part about Emotional Siamese Twins...here's a quote....
Quote:


Expecting trust, validation, and shared reality only encourages fights about "what really happened". If you and your partner are constantly fighting about "reality", you're probably dependent on other-validated intimacy and you are really arguing about whose reality will become the dominant reality and whose anxieties will previal.



Oh man...this is why it's taking me forever to read. This stuff makes your head spin, but I love it.
Quote:


Remember, we pick partners at the same level of differentiation as ourselves



This is really scary. When my W started dating, I had just gotten over a freakish relationship with a desperate "fuser" and I was on an extreme "independence" kick. I gradually fell back to a different level of a differentiation which is where our problems lie. Hence the issues with "rebound" relationships etc.

Very interesting.

Last edited by AtlantaDave; 04/19/04 02:01 PM.
Anywhere is walking distance if you have the time -Steven Wright