Quote: If Tim is like me, then his excitement isn't over the prospect of receiving more (fill in the blank) from his W but rather a new understanding of himself in the marital context.
Thanks, Dave, you're right. Not only understanding myself in the marital context, but also a new understanding of the context itself! Understanding marriage as a system, and as a people-growing system at that. In my excitement I haven't yet been able to verbalize it properly, but that's very close to it. When I sat down on Saturday to begin reading it, my attitude was simply "Let's see what all the fuss is about. Maybe this will give me some new things to try - some new techniques to use." However, as I got into it, I discovered it really isn't about techique at ALL, it's about how to GROW. As I read the stories in it, I was quite literally taken by surprise at how it was resonating with me. It's been a real emotional roller-coaster reading it - it's a visceral experience. Life-altering.
W is very soon going to be dealing with a brand-new ME, and I know she's going to feel disoriented at first. That's why I'm really hoping she will read the book with me... because doing that will give her the tools she needs to understand where we're heading. Dave, you're very lucky to be working with a C who has read this and at least partially understands it, but be aware... Schnarch himself points out several times in the book that there is a VERY low percentage of C's who REALLY GET (and wholeheartedly support) what he says. Even the "pro's" don't normally have this level of intimacy with their SO's, so this is really something new.
Also, guys, don't be too afraid of the depth of this stuff. It really isn't that difficult to grasp... you just have to take a leap of self...
