There is no reason not be nice and friendly. Just like you would treat your neighboor. Be positive, upbeat just don't pursue. I try to avoid the who, what where, when, why questions. Every time you see your W you should confident, positive, upbeat and looking good. Fake it until you make it. I never ask W any questions and only know what she tells me. For example, today my W asked me if I could watch the kids for her because she a brunch birthday party to go to for a friend. I have no plans, have been out doing yard work and my oldest has a soccer game at 3 pm. I said sure no problem, she has probably only asked me 2 to 3 times in a 6 month period. I thought it was a good opportunity to be a good co-parent.
My W and I have not spoke about our R in 6 months. I would say positive steps would be if you start to see your W engage more with the family, maybe start opening up to you some, maybe not be as cold and distant. Just know that doesn't mean she wants to get back together it just means that you have successfully removed all the pressure from her. That is probably the stage I am in.
If your W is rude and nasty then adjust accordingly. So far my W has not been like that.
