[quote]So, she calls me up to tell me she is going to the mall to do some shopping, to hopefully find an outfit she can wear to her office Christmas party this weekend, and to maybe buy something for my stepmother for Christmas. She says, oh, I think I'll stop by store X, because you were pretty lucky finding something for yourself to wear there. Now, there are three or four store exes around our town, and the one I went to is near my work. But she says to me, oh well I can go out to the mall, and then since it's on the way, I can stop at the store X Out near there. Thing is, the store X out there is in the exact same strip mall as the pub where om hangs out. not in the mood to play any games, I say are you sure you want to stop out there? That's right next to the pub, and you know he hangs out there a lot particularly on Fridays. Is that the position you want to put yourself in? So she says, hang out where, it's tore ex? And she kind of laughs like a joke[/quote]
I don't like it. She is giving too much excuse for why she's going out that way.......and that looks suspiciously like a smoke screen. She knows you can track her, so she's trying to sound so legit and innocent by choosing to drive out of the way to end up next door to OM's hangout. But she gives herself away by laughing at what you said.....as if the thought never entered her mind that it is next door to where they use to meet.....and that is where she slipped up.
Even if she was ever-so-over OM (which she's not), she should have considered your feelings; considered how it could look suspicious; be smart enough to know the temptations and the havoc it has with her emotions; and realize it's not worth being set back at ground zero again. She is suppose to striving to avoid getting anywhere in the vicinity of OM. It is much too soon to take those type of risks.
I have tried to give her the benefit of doubt, but I am concerned that she is being pulled back into that seduction again. It seems that ever since her weekend stay with BFF, she has been "off". She has been distant and moody......which goes along with the withdrawals. However, when some women are feeling these low emotions and think there is too much work in trying to revive their MR........they will tempt fate by seeing the OM once again. If her old feelings for him are stirred again, then she stupidly thinks it is meant to be......and it must be true love. That's why this time in her withdrawal period is critical.
If you feel that no action would be effective, then that's your decision to make. This is your life, Jim. You are the one to live with the outcome. Frankly, unless you followed her and spied on her to see if she met up with the OM, it would still be a lot of guess work.
After the holidays (if not before the new year), I think you need to take charge in setting up more MC and doing the homework, instead of waiting on her. If she balks, then I think it will be a bad sign.
In the meantime, I suggest you do something fun with her this weekend. See how it goes.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
