WOW! Coly, I'm proud of you. He really didn't consider your feelings or your daughter's at all. He's been gone quite a while and to just assume that he can wander in and out whether you are there or not isn't good, especially if he was also snooping. He doesn't have the right to be snooping and your home is your safe place, just as his place is his.

I think you handled the conversation very well...now try to stick to the detachment and as you told him to let go, so should you. It's okay to let go in a kind way, but now you and your daughter need to live your lives for yourselves and not worry about him, as he surely isn't too concern about what you two are doing until the notion strikes him.

Bravo! I'm proud of you!

Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to.
The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.