Yes, I DEFINITELY AGREE that the kids need to see that mum and dad have a HOT marriage, but if they were to glance casually at parts of this book, they would get the wrong idea, and it might freak them out. The actual point of it would be quite beyond them. However, I'm really hopeful that before long, W and I can model for them what a really GOOD marriage can be like.
Quote: Don't you think fusion is NORMAL in marriage?
That's exactly the point he makes! Yes! It is NORMAL, NATURAL and EXPECTED. It is a phase you HAVE to go through, on the way to becoming who you are. However, to make a HOT marriage, and make it last, you HAVE to get beyond it, and learn to stand on your own two feet emotionally. You need to learn to validate YOURSELF, by yourself, and NOT get your identity from your SO. Only by doing this can you become TRULY intimate with your SO. Becoming more separate allows you to get closer together. Wow... this is DEEP STUFF! Another thing... when you become *truly* well-differentiated, you can once again experience FUSION, but it's different then - it comes from a different place, and "the two shall become one" takes on a WHOLE NEW MEANING. You don't "lose yourself" by becoming fused - you fuse into a WHOLE NEW existence. WOW.. WOW... WOW...
Another thing - holding onto yourself is NOT an exercise, it's a way of being. If you treat it as an exercise, you're "not there yet"... keep working on it! read it again!
