Tim, If I were you I would have NO QUALMS about my adult children seeing a book called "passionate marriage". Now, I would be unsettled about them seeing the Lou Paget book that Michele talks about in her posts (and which I've GOT to get, she's sold me on it!!) because as I understand from her, it is explicit with photos and things like that.
But I think that kids need to see that marriage is HOT. I want my kids to know that the fun stuff doesn't happen in the teenage/college years. The fun stuff happens after marriage and years of building intimacy between two people. I will do my best to (cleanly, now) demonstrate that to them. That marriage is one hot thing and they totally have something to look forward to. I think that most kids right now think that marriage is a joke and you only get married (or pursue commitment) when you are ready to slow down and be boring.
I haven't really worked out all the details of my grand plan, lol, they are still really little but I just wanted to throw that in there.
I am thinking that if they see a sterile marriage between H and I and then I turn around and tell them to try and be chaste, well, where is the motivation for that? They would look at marriage and think, You want me to wait for THAT?!?
And I do realize that it will gross them out to high heaven to think of their parents being passionate and getting it on. While I sympathize with that (one thought of my own parents icks me out to this day), it is too bad. I will not act as if I have no desire for their dad, in a misguided attempt to shelter them from sexuality. After all, they will be BOMBARDED with sexuality from the outside world that they will travel in as teenagers, so why shouldn't I present a positive model of it in my own home? I want to present the other side of the coin--while they and their peers are worrying about STD's and whether the guy they just blew really cares about them (god help me if this comes to fruition, I will kill myself), I want them to see what TRUE and meaningful sexuality really looks like.
Just some thoughts!
Oh, and one more thing...I read this book two years ago and found it VERY helpful. I could see then and still see now, ways that we are fused. My problem then (and now) was this: Don't you think fusion is NORMAL in marriage? I mean, you spend so much time together and your very identity is completely wrapped up in the other person...ie, I am so and so's husband. I never could get a clear picture of what two married and non-fused people looked and acted like. I still do the holding on to myself exercise and it works, but I think that my perception of myself is far too wrapped up in what H thinks.
