Legal stuff: I found out I have a court date in the spring. I'm disappointed it's not sooner, since I'd like to move on with my life. It feels slightly comforting to see a possible end to this in-house S. And I realized I'm also a little sad, since I really wanted this to end differently when it all started.
The end isn't written. D may be the end of this M, but down the road you may very well find yourself in a R with the same woman. Or something better with her. Or with someone else. A lot of people here become awash in hopelessness and despair, they really let it get them down. My brother is a classic example, it's been 7 or 8 years since his D and he has never dated, never given up his bitterness. He completely abandoned hope for that M and any future R or M with anyone. What he fails to realize is he can't blame his XW for that (he does every day), it is HIS fault. If he made himself into the spouse only a fool would leave, then he'd have his choice of hotties right now. He certainly had his choice when we were younger. He oozed confidence. Now he oozes hopelessness. Don't be him. There is every reason to hope! I didn't get my XW back, what I got instead is a hot, sexy, shapely, beautiful girl who thinks the world of me. I don't know if it comes through in my posts but man do I love live. I mean I live it and love every second. BD and the aftermath and my subsequent DB'ing transformed me into a different person. I never gave up hope, it powered me through EVERYTHING. Hope to get my M back at first, but at some point I didn't even realize it but it just became hope for a great life rather than specifically my M. Hope is really powerful!
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When I first heard about the court date, a little voice told me "See, she still has a few months to change her mind." Another part of me screamed back "STFU".
Again, nothing wrong with hoping!
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So I went into a popular restaurant and sat at the bar by myself. It started out empty at the bar, but soon had a couple of single women. I managed to strike up a brief conversation with one (which is a total 180 from the old me). She mentioned she had a boyfriend at one point, so I figured I'd back off a bit.
Hey, always remember- married women and women with boyfriends have single friends! Not saying you're ready for that yet, but something to keep in mind for when you are
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Two nights ago I had a dream that STBXW walked into my room, was in a good mood, and kissed me.
I think we all have those dreams for a while. Now I dream about what sexy things my GF will put on next time she comes over. Actually I had that convo with her yesterday and she asked what I thought about thigh-high stockings and nothing else. Yeah, there is life after D
