Don't worry, I wasn't insulted! What I said about 'some guy I don't even know' - I didn't mean you, I meant the author!! I am so so sorry; it wasn't til I just now went back and read it for myself that I realized I hadn't been specific on who I was talking about. Like I said, I haven't read any of the book. (We just bought our first house together and will be moving in this weekend, so hopefully next week I'll be able to hit the library there!) I had a feeling that 'sexual prime' had a diff meaning. I totally agree with everything you said, and I am certainly looking forward to growing old with my H cause I know things will get better. And, honey, if they get too much better I don't know if I'll be able to stand it!

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...true intimacy, which requires "growing up" enough to be able to handle it. NOT the kind of stuff for teenagers, but then they wouldn't be developmentally able to process this stuff anyway... (again, not a slur, just a fact).




I totally agree with that, too. While I may be closer in years to a teenager, I would have to say that when it comes to maturity (emotional, mental, etc.) I am definitely FAR removed. OH OH OH!! I believe I have a perfect example of this!!!!

My sister just recently turned 19. She has been dating the same guy for...just over 2 years now, I believe. Last year during her sr. year of high school, she 'realized' that she 'had feelings' for a fellow classmate after he had a serious accident. She ended up breaking up with her bf, but didn't end up with the other guy. Eventually, she went back to her bf. Only a short while after this, he proposed to her. She accepted and they started making plans. I was to be in charge of decorations and flowers, but every time I asked her how she wanted something done or what colors she wanted, she didn't act like she cared. "Do whatever you want; you're in charge." THAT was a big tip-off to me that she wasn't going to go thru with it. She basically told her bridesmaids to pick ANY color dress they wanted as long as it wasn't spaghetti strap. After graduation, she moved with her bf into the home he had purchased (ALL by himself, no help from her) as a surprise. That didn't last too long. He ended up working 3, count them THREE, jobs to support the two of them. She wouldn't even go out and look for a job. She'd just sit at home on the computer ALL day long and chat with her friends. She ended up moving back in with my parents after about two months. She broke up with him, and told him, "When you're ready to be my H you can come back." WTF???? I am sad to say, they are now back together, but with no plans of marriage any time soon.

Her bf is 2 years older than her, but about 20 years more mature. At least now she is taking some college classes, but she is still unemployed. Her bf is still working 3 jobs, but one he has switched to weekends-only.

My H and I can't get over how poorly she treats him, and how he just puts up with it. I know he does so because he believes he truly does love her, and that someday she'll grow up and be able to give him what he needs.

I think it's a perfect example of how important maturity is to a R and how teenagers can't experience the closeness and meaningfulness that my H and I do. And what my H and I have probably can't compare to what some of you have, or to what we'll have together 10-20-30-40-50-60 years from now. I am really looking forward to growing with my H, in every aspect of the word. Well, except for weight-wise. And since we aren't having any kids, we should have lots of time to work on our R and to grow together. Our R is going to grow every day, and that is exciting!! We just have to make sure it grows in the right direction.

Again, I wasn't at all offended by anything you said. And I hope nothing I said offended you - that certainly wasn't my purpose, either. I just needed some clarification on what you were trying to say. I know that my H and I currently have meaningful sex together; I guess it just upset me to think that just because I was young I was being put in a diff category, ya know? Like the book (NOT you!!) was trying to say that since my H and I are young we aren't having meaningful sex and that we aren't mature enough. I now understand much more clearly. I know things between me and my H will continue to grow and develop, and like I said earlier, I can't wait!

><> As we grow together, he's going to get better at pleasing me... *shiver of delight*