For the jewelry, there has to be a transaction record. If she said she bought it herself, was it through debit, credit, cash? Do you have access to those records? If she says that, can she produce the transaction record? I know this sounds like serious interrogation, but it is about transparency. Can she be transparent with you? If she's lying, you'll know that pretty fast if she can't tell you how she bought them or can't produce a record. Even if she paid by cash, there would be a withdrawal record on the account. The money didn't just come out of nowhere.
In terms of phone and car surveillance, if she's onto it and she wants to deceive you, I am sure there are tons of ways to do that. If one is going to be deceptive, google will find all the answers for them.
I am not trying to get your paranoid, but don't substitute surveillance and spot checking as the only transparency measures. It should mean that you are within your right to ask these questions. And as Sandi pointed out, with so many signs, it starts to add up and it doesn't just become a coincidence. Maybe nothing has happened, but if you're in recon, I believe that you are in your right to ask questions and share your feelings, doubts, and whatever else.
I hope it's a big pile of nothing for your sake. Sounds like you've made good progress, but things have cooled off lately.
