WW ended EA 4 mos ago; trying to restore intimacy

[hoosjim]

There is no reason that I can see her needing to keep your M separate from hanging out with bff unless there is a separate life when hanging out with BFF.

You mean, aside from the fact that bff helped enable her in the A and also cheated on my best friend (her STBXH) THREE TIMES... the last with a mutual friend. And that I can't stand her and the feeling is likely mutual?

And yes, this dynamic definitely needs to be addressed if we are to make a go of it.

JoeJoe:

No, no, no. She has caused a boundary. She and you both know she shouldnt be wearing things the OM bought. Also she wore them, at her office where you coukdnt see them.

That's just the thing... I dontknow. I suspect in one instance (earrings, which she pretty much wore constantly until she distanced from OM, but which she easily could have purchased and just tired of), and somewhat more strongly suspect in the case of the bracelet (which showed up oddly right after her birthday when she had a couple of unaccounted for lunchtime outings out to OM's neck of the woods). I really don't know for sure and have never broached the subject and, TBH, at this point i think i risk coming off paranoid/insecure/controlling if I bring it up... especially if I am wrong. The only thing I am near certain he gave her and that she hung on to a while was the flowers where she kept the picture up on FB for a while... but, like i said, she took that down in favor of a picture of our two boys at about the same time she had her come to Jesus moment. I suppose i could bring it up in counselling or elsewhere that, generally, "anything she might have that OM gave her" should probably be disposed of in the interests of moving forward. Not sure what my seguay into that is, though.

FWIW, no indication she misbehaved last night. She texted me at sufficient intervals that I know she couldn't have ditched her phone, which did track as being where she said she would be (Restaurant at the mall). Now, OM could, of course, have showed up there and I'd have no way to know, but this mall and this restaurant is a popular destination and really close to our neighborhood (unlike OM's typical haunts) and we have relatively frequently seen neighbors or friends there, so it would have been pretty risky. OTOH, she was a bit more distant and avoiding of touch this morning.