Fighting my way out of the dark - Part 6

[AnotherStander]

Holding, I think most everything you're doing is fine, your wife's cold behavior is on HER, not you. It's fine to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving and such, if she doesn't reply then that's fine, you did the right thing even if she didn't.

I am going to make a couple of suggestions though:

So yeah, the text got to me. I know it shouldn't have, and I'm angry with myself for letting it ruin my good mood from the week.

Why be angry with yourself? It is perfectly fine to be upset about the way she's treating you! You don't deserve it! You're being cordial to her and she's being a B in return. Of course you're going to be upset. Own it! Your feelings belong to you, they are not "right" or "wrong".

Then she asked if I'd be going out that night (my usual Divorce Care night, but I'm done with the program). I asked her what difference it made (yes, I was very suspicious of talking to her).

Try and remember your W is always looking for a reason to throw something in your face, so try not to give her ammo. You could have just replied yes/no and then asked her why she wanted to know. Try to be as non-confrontational as you can. Not to save the M (which I don't think is on the table right now or for a while), but just to model the best dad possible to your kids.

I think yours is an example of how difficult it can be to give a WAS time and space when you're under the same roof. She's sick and tired of you and every time she sees you it's just a fresh reminder that she's done. She's not going to learn to miss you unless maybe there is some distance between the two of you.