W moved out 3 weeks after she said she wanted a D. I snooped early on but could find no evidence of OM. Once she moved out I stopped snooping. I will say that my W was not over the top disrespectful with the yelling, screaming, saying rude things in front of our children etc. She was very cold and distant early on. There was no interaction between us at all unless it was kids or money. Our kids are very young though so it is impossible to go total NC.
I did a major temp check about a month after she moved out. She still told me a D was going to happen. She was very much in her too cool for school mode thinking she was soo much better than me and looking hot etc. I hated the way she made me feel that day I vowed to never bring us up ever again.
No mention of D or our R since the middle of July. Then on 10/31 she texts me out of the blue telling me she wants to move forward with mediation or at minimum to sit down and talk about where we are at, then she came back and said she was also tired and stressed so it may not be a good time. I responded to her and essentially said let me know what time works best for you so we can move forward. She has never responded to that text and we have not moved forward.
Since then she has started to open up more, be more talkative, more friendly etc. In general we still only talk about money or kid related activities. I never discuss anything personal about myself and she doesn't about her either.
During this entire process I have never yelled, screamed, said mean things or have done anything vindictive through this process. I have stayed calm, cool, collected and have kept my emotions in check. For me the first 6 months has been settling into a comfort zone. Currently I would say the relationship is like a friendly neighbor.
