My ex constantly throws in little comments about how he works because he has to pay me. Mind you, he pays the absolute bare minimum any court would enforce... there is just no ratiinalizing it to them. There is just sonething about their brains that makes them unable to see past what they want. I really dont get their logic or the way they rationalize. I know i get caught on trying to understand them too much, but its almost like making sense of and trying to reason with a serial killer.
I feel very scared about my ability to judge someone as well based on this experience. I dont trust my judgement. I really thought i was rational with my choice in husbands at the btime, but looking back i didnt recognize some really important things. So i worry about not recognizing other signs in the new guy that i am dating because i have never been exposed to them. Or perhaps in Becoming so enamored with new positives i have never encountered that i ignore the red flags. Its all a risk. Some gut and instinct. MWD's book says that we have powwr in changing the bad dynamics of a relationship. Would those tools t have made a difference with our old relationships? Or perhaps assist us with the new ones?
You mentioned your ex's live in girlfriend just lost her son? That is horrifying. Perhaps this is making him reevaluate his relationship with his children?
