I'd say "bring that sexy ass over here" then smack it.
Seriously though. Women do like a guy who could treat her like a gentleman and then man up in the bedroom. Just like a guy likes a "lady in the street and a freak in the bed".
Emotional intimacy makes someone comfortable with the domination aspect. someone who is neglectful then throws you on the bed really isn't all that appealing.
I do think you are overthinking a tad much, scared to have her withdraw or want to go back to OM. I understand it, but relax a little and go with the flow a bit.
