This probably doesn't apply to your situation, but I'll mention it just 'cause. My XW had a variety of sexual likes and dislikes that would even change dramatically during sex. Sometimes it would become downright scary.
Before we married, I knew she'd been sexually assaulted by an ex-boyfriend, but after a number of years of marriage, she revealed she'd been sexually abused as a young child (it's a long story - and it's truly horrendous). Many of her memories were repressed so she often wasn't aware of the past abuse until she'd be triggered, often during sexual situations.
Anyway, your wife probably does not have the background of abuse that my XW has, but I'm relaying my story because, on one hand, my XW would often request things that I was afraid would be hurtful (I wouldn't comply with those requests), and other times, she wanted soft and gentle touches.
I think we all like different things at different times, but my wife went to extremes. If your wife is difficult to figure out at times, she might have some lingering fears or concerns that she may not be aware of.
