So I think there might be something wrong with how I think. See I realized last night being around the WW that I am not in control of my emotions anymore. I feel bad because of how angry I have been lately about the divorce and everything. Not sure if that is normal, I know that taking care of myself and not worrying about her is the right thing to do. But it feels horrible.
Like knowing this morning will be the last time I see my oldest daughter for a long time. I know it is the right thing but still I feel pretty crummy for doing it.
Mainly I have been really angry. Really don't like being in the position that I am. Yes I could file first and end it yet some part of me still wants to save my marriage.
I feel foolish by hoping that if we stop fighting and she respects me things can be better and possibly she might even come to love me again. It is an unrealistic belief and desire. Yet it is how I feel so ya feeling pretty crummy today.
