My wife and I met when she was 20, I was 34. I had been married previously and had 2 kids, ages 4 and 6 at the time. My first wife cheated several times and my parents also had divorced due to infidelity. We had a great relationship and were that couple that everyone was jealous of.
Can you describe a little bit about the end of Marriage 1? How long were you single? What is your R like with XW? What kind of custody arrangement do you have with the older 2?
Originally Posted By: cb757
About 8 months ago she began to get a bit distant from me. Looking back now I can see it probably went a little further back than that.
Like....how? Just being more quiet? Or spending more time with others? on phone? etc.
Originally Posted By: cb757
About 6 months ago we started to go to counseling, which did no good at all. By that time we were still kissing, say ILY, sleeping in the same bed, but there was no real intimacy. About 4 months ago, she stated that she was no longer attracted to me and she wanted to stop saying ILY, touching, kissing, etc because she just wasn't feeling it. We were still sleeping in the same bed, just not touching at all. 2 months ago we got into a little argument when she got home late from work. At that time she said that she wasn't happy and left that night to stay with her mom.
Frankly, Im having trouble believing that there isnt an OM in some capacity. You didnt mention one, but you didnt really discuss it. What is your take?
Originally Posted By: cb757
We talk everyday at least once when our daughter calls to tell the other one goodnight.
How much are you talking? Your D is 4 now - I would think she can talk on the phone without needing a conversation between you and W.
Originally Posted By: cb757
We have also gone out a few times, both with our daughter and by ourselves.
Can you describe this? Who initiated? What kinds of things are you doing?
Originally Posted By: cb757
I have brought up "us" two times in the past two months, but have been very non-pressuring, basically just asking how she's doing and where we're at.
Id knock this off. There is no "non-pressuring" way to ask "where are we?"
Originally Posted By: cb757
We have been planning for about 9 months for her to quit work in January and finally go to nursing school full time. She is still planning on that which has included being on my health insurance, student loans that we have already applied for together, etc. We have no discussed the logistics of that if she is not living here or we are not together. Also, it is an 18 month program.
This sounds like a pretty big expense for you. What are your thoughts on this?
