Jim, that sounds great with your family, good to hear things are mostly patched up. I think that now that they know the situation and your wishes better, things will go smoother in the future.
Originally Posted By: Jim1234
My kid's godmother asked me if we could get together for dinner before Xmas so they could give the kids presents, with W or without, whichever I preferred. I said without would be great and made plans for this Sunday. W just found out about it, and sent me a text saying, "What the heck happened to discussing things like making plans for the kids.... Not sure who I should be more pissed at....."
Our custody is a very loose arrangement.... some days I have the kids, some days she has them, depending on our work schedules, so she is absolutely right, I should have discussed it with her, and told her so.
Here's where it gets sticky, though. I'd like to validate, and not say "but...." (thank you 25mlc), but 1) I arranged dinner without her because I thought it would be good for me to gain some distance and start new traditions, and 2) her reply to my apology was that the invitation included all of us, and I never mentioned it. She said it was "rude."
Hmmm, you're getting into some grey area there. I assume the godmother is a friend of the family, IE, someone that both you and your W knows? My inclination on that would be to tell your W "I've thought about it and I agree with you, this is more for the kids and is probably something we should do together this year." I mean as you know from what I said before I think she's crossing the line to expect to be involved in events with your side of the family, but a godparent is more what I would consider neutral. So I can see how your W would be upset and think you're "rallying the troops" to your side.
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I'm thinking "I don't want this divorce, but that is the hand I've been dealt.
I wouldn't say that (ever), she knows your feelings on that.
