Well you guessed it she said fine and now that I want her off the bill she will be filing for D after Xmas and she doesnt want the kids to know anything until we are actually D'ed.
Well, if it had not been the cell phone issue, it would have been something else. From this point forward, please check here before you decide to make a move like taking away something from her. Not that you can't think for yourself, but you have a lot going on in your head and it may be difficult to know how to balance some of the information you are receiving.
I caution you to be careful that your actions do not appear punitive. As you said, you've set no boundaries, and suddenly you tell her to get her own phone plan. Did you tell her why?
Yes, IMHO, if the W is threatening D (and especially treating the H disrespectfully), then she needs to have a glimpse of what's in store. Remember that timing is critical in everything! It can make all the difference in the world as to how effective your interactions will be with your spouse.
I'm not saying you were wrong. I'm just trying to give you information. It takes time for us to cover so many topics, examples, and address pertinent issues with the individual posters. All we have is what you tell us. We may misinterpret something, and if so, you can set us straight or not bother........but just as long as you "get it". Sorry, I seem to be rambling.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
