IMO it is her family and as hard as it may be I would stay away. My W's brother got married and I never reached out, I never wished her father a happy birthday either. When you are going through something like this I think it is assumed. My W's best girlfriends from elementary school reached out to me over the summer and while I appreciated it I told them considering the circumstances there is no need to contact me going forward due to the situation. They are great people, I love them a ton but at the end of the day it is her family and friends.
Others may disagree but I would stay away. While it is a nice gesture IMO it shows your hanging on.
