What should I be doing now? (It's done)

[Coconut]

I went back home for a long weekend for Thanksgiving, and yesterday went shopping with my Mom to get her some hiking boots and rain gear for our Alaska trip next year, and that's when I got the text "It's done" (around noon).

She had told me earlier in the weekend that her mom was going to loan her the money to file ($205) and that she was going to go to the courthouse Monday. So I wasn't caught totally off guard, but you still never know how you will feel. When I read the text, I didn't have any flood of emotion, just thought it was a unusual choice of words to let me know that she had filed. The text chain went:

W - It's done
Me - Interesting way to say it, but thank you for going.
W - Sorry, whether you believe me or not it wasn't an easy thing to do & I'm not in the best of moods right now.
Me - I understand, it's not an easy thing to go through, but I think it's time.

When I first let her know in July that I would like to file, I told her that I could wait if she wasn't ready, but since then she's never given me any indication that she isn't ready. I got frustrated with the delay, because everything I know of her makes me believe the delay was just due to not taking the time to complete the process. She is the type of person to always put things off. It took her 3 months to "decide" if she was going to change her name back to her maiden name or not, and I see that as just not giving it any thought until I pressed her for the info.

I am mind reading here, but I also don't believe her having a hard time with it has anything to do with me, I think it has to do more with her fantasy of what M would mean to her (she always said that she would never D), because she never once brought up that she was unhappy or suggest that we do things to make the M better.

When I would bring things up that I thought we should do to improve our R, she would give me the "OK" but she would never join me. For example, about 3 year ago I told her I would like to spend 10 to 30 minutes on the hammock every day or two so we could spend time together talking, she said that would be good, but whenever I would bring it up she was busy on facebook, editing photos, playing games on her iPad, etc.

So I have a hard time believing that she cares about "our" relationship enough for her to be mourning it.

But I digress. In all, I'm fine with it, I had a great time spending the day with my mom yesterday before I went to the airport, we shopped for a few hours, then went to her house and made a Christmas wreath out of tree clippings and decorated it with things we bought when we were out, and I never really thought about the D again.

I had some sadness when I filled out and signed all the paperwork, but I didn't have those same feelings knowing that it has all been filed. Now I'll just have to see how I feel when we go to court to finalize it, which should be in 3 to 4 weeks.