waw maybe

[bhappy2]

Maximus, Yes I seem emotionally detached but I can assure you this was not the case for the first two months after BD. How much should we punish ourselves for things out of our control. I take full responsibilty for not being there emotionally for my wife, I had no choice to work and I worked sometimes two full time jobs to make ends meet.

Yes I have values that can be flexible if need be but infidelity is not one of them, I pride myself on being faithful and would never cheat on my W. There are many reasons for not wanting to accept my W if she had an A I do not want an STD and also what if the guy is a stalker, there are a ton of crazies out there. I have friends that have cheated and gave thier spouse and std and they stayed together.

I have completely stopped looking if there is OM like you said it doesnt matter. She doesnt want to be with me why would I want to be with her. I tried for two months, the only results I have seen is when I started DB and I have given her plenty of space.

I do not have a great GAL but when I have free time I do go out and do things. I go to the gym 6 days a week and I am a seasoned runner.

Part of me is getting resentful towards my W for not communicating that she wasnt happy with me working so much. But lights do not come on for free, cable bill needs to be paid, mortgage has to be paid. These are not to justify why I wasnt there emotionally for my W but just trying to give as many details as possible.

I am always seeking ways to improve myself so that I do not make the same mistakes in any future R, I asked her what are some of the reasons she wants out and the only thing she said was that over twenty years ago I said "Its cheeper to Keep Her" and thats the reason she wants a D.

She also doesnt want anyone to know anything until we're D'ed. Tommorrow I go back to full time DBing. I am to the point were I just want this over!