I told him since he made money from a job he needs to buy clothes not a toy. So he talked to my "W" about it, who told me I will be buying him both.
He is a grown man, he needs to contribute to his own will being or leave. Personally I would prefer to pay for childcare and be broke than support a grown a** man.
I dont disagree with you. But, your job is not to dictate to BIL what he can or cannot buy. Your job is to determine what YOU will or will not buy. It is perfectly within your scope to say "you are a grown man and I am not going to continue buying your XYZ while you are working". It is not really your jurisdiction to say "you are a grown man and you need to buy XYZ and not ABC."
Why do you get to be the judge of how he spends his money? Focus instead on what to do with yours.
By the way...what happnes if you say "Im not buying you XYZ" and then W does with marital money?
