WW, wlc, Waw or What?

[Btrow]

Hi Gordie

Thanks for stopping by. Although you almost gave me a heart attack putting my thread to the top of the page

Well, I'm 1 year (+2 weeks) past BD so why not give a complete insight into the life of btrow. Life is good. It really is. In fact, if we somehow managed to ignore the fact that I was BD'ed just a year ago, the label would probably be "great".

Kids:
They all seem to be doing fine. No major issues. D10 and D9 never talks about "it" and I do not initiate talks with them regarding our sitch. D4 understands nada of what happened to her little family. She occasionally throws out a "Daddy, do you miss my mommy" or "my daddyyy thinks my mommmyyss sweeeeet". She thinks it was daddy who wanted the D. She was too young to understand anything when we told them last November and her young logic makes her think that since mommy has a "friend" and daddy does not, daddy doesn't like girls. (she asked me in the summer why I didn't like girls, 'cause if I did, mommy and daddy could be married again). Also, I must admit, having three "little" kids is hard....... I work 10 hours less when I have the girls, and 10 hours extra when I don't have them. Yes, I have a great job and my boss is the best. Can't go on like that though, as the kids free weeks are more or less all about work. I told the kids early in the year that I would do it that way until the summer, but haven't been able to adjust yet as I feel a bit sorry for them (their mum only work 30 hours weekly when they are with her, so.....).

GAL
When I was married I had no gal activities. Well, I had my weekly bridge night, that was it. Things have certainly changed in that regard. I still play bridge (in fact, I was even elected chairman of the club in the spring). I go to the shooting range twice a week and I also play volleyball once a week. I'm struggling with finding time to go to the gym (yeah bad excuse, I know) so I have upped my running activities insted. I actually ran my first half marathon last week. Incredible. 1,5 years ago when I could do max 3 km, I thought I would never make it past the 10 km mark due to my weight (down appx. 70 pounds since then) and my knees. I have a knee condition in both knees, but they seem to adapt. In addition to all that, I was also recently elected to be cashier (not sure its the correct english term) in an employee club we have at work. We are 230 employees, and we host 8-10 social after-work events for them, per year. I see my family more than back then (fx I go to the movies once a month with one of my brothers and I make sure to visit my mum at least once a week). When the girls are with me they are more or less my only GAL activity. I try to only have them looked after once a week, and that is normally when I play bridge. If I have another activity in my girls week, I normally cancel bridge night.

XW:
I have no idea what her life is like. OM is still in the picture, but in what sort of capacity, I have no idea. The girls rarely mention him, so I assume it isn't all that much when she has them. The bits and pieces I pick up from the girls, XW seems to be mirroring OM. His hobbies, his friends etc. I never ask them about her, as I have no interest in knowing what is going on "over there" (she lives 5 km from me). She doesn't "bother" me at all and I suppose it is because she is worried that I would/could make this co-parenting business difficult. Where I live, it doesn't matter which one of the parents is the course of a bad co-parenting situation, if it doesn't work, sole custudy would simply be given to the best fit parent. And that would be me. I have been the "primary" parent since the kids where little (she used to work evenings twice a week in addition to a saturday and sunday each fortnight). Also she is not able to be a "full time" parent due to her working hours, and tbh, sometimes I think her work is more important to her than her kids. So a fallout with me, would be a loosing situation for her. I have more or less stopped mind reading, as I learned in the first couple of months after BD, that I truly sucked at it LOL. We never talk. All communication is through texting, and she is way more wordy than I am. I do my best to cut her as much out of my life a possible and I do a good job of going dark. Yes it is possible, even with little kids. I probably don't even see her once a month on average. I'm sure she'd like to be friends with me, but I'm having none of it. You do not pi$$ all over me (and my girls) and expect me to bow and clap my heels together to please you. I do not work that way. Maybe thats a bit jerk-like, but I'm ok with that. Really. I hate to admit it, but a large part of me still miss her. Yeah I must be a sadomasochist.

ME:
As mentioned, life is good. I'm still single, but could easily be in a relationship if I wanted to, as 2-3 women so far have wanted to "be exclusive" with me (once again, not sure that is translated correct, you probably know what i mean). Not to sound smug or anything, but I'm attractive, funnny, charming and very likeable. A good catch. At some point early summer I decided that it probably would be a good idea to be single for at least 12 months (which seems to be suggested by many), so I actually stopped going out to bars, clubs etc. Maybe it's time to start again, I don't know.. One of the things that concerned me after BD, was off course the financial aspect of being single, but it has been a great year in that sense. My wages are up 8 % over the last year and interest rates were at rock bottom when I had the mortgage refinanced in the spring. Also I quit smoking cigarettes (started smoking heavily around BD time) and have started using an e-cigarette insted. That is sooo much cheaper. I probably save $150 per month. Crazy.. Most of my GAL activities btw, are "old" activities from my childhood (shooting) and youth (volleyball). I have no particular desire to do new stuff. Just trying to find the good old btrow somewhere in all this madness. I'm happy and confident in who I am and if anyone asked me what I would change if I had a time machine, I'd "probably" say nothing, maybe my weight. I am a good, decent person, and somewhere out there, I'm sure there is a woman who'd be happy to be with me. I am not going to let my XW define me.

Gordie, I follow some of the sitches over at MLC, and yours is one of them. Boy, what you are going through is heart breaking. At least mine D'ed me instantly, and that was hard, but for you to see your insane (MLC) W do what she is doing right under yours and your kids noses, must be almost impossible. I feel so sorry for you. Just know that you too will be in a much better place one day. I promise. Your most recent posts indicates that you are getting better, so just keep going on. Your kids (and Gordie himself) need you more than ever. I can sense from your postings that you are a great sympathetic guy. Although I don't post in the MLC section, I too, am on Team Gordie