I think you are already bringing a lot to the table. I agree with taking sometime to yourself. I don't think you are in the US, so I dont know the rules/lawsof the country you are located in. But in the US, the home is communinal property if you are married. No S has more rights over the home than the other.
But giving your W space and you detaching is what you need to do at the point. She's angry and you are an easy target for her now. Let her wallow in her mess she made. You aren't to blame for OM breaking up with her and you need to ensure you state that firmly. If she tries to blame you again, you say "whatever happened between you and him is/was your problem, don't associate me with that Sitch ever". And don't bring it up again, if she gets irate, walk away. Create your boundary of not being disrespected or being yelled at.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
