Sorry to hear what your going through. My W used the same b.s. logic when talking yona mutual friend about her cheating. Tjat she told me she wanted a divorce, so it's not cheating. Even though she she began her A before BD. And conviently she suddenly took on this new ideology when she started cheating. Never at any point in our 17 year marriage had ahe felt that way. And talked abiut others like a dog for doing such things.
Your W right now has no morals and is talking out of her a** right now in order to justify her cheating. So don't go along with any of it or make excuses for her. As for the divorce you need to protect yourself. You don't want to have to find yourself rewarding your W for her bad behavior. Especially witj her laying up with OM. My recommendation is get the divorce before it's too late. If it's meant to be you two could always remarry.
