FF, How come you once used to do it in front of him but then got self-conscious later? I would have thought once your R was that open you couldn't go backwards.
I've just made a wierd break-through in our R today. Last night after my ND GF went to sleep, I MBed but I forgot this morning that I had left my gel lubricant on the floor beside the bed. I was already working on the computer at home when she made up the bed and discovered it and said "what's this?". Calmly, I said "that's for tossing off" and carried on working. So when then said "so when did you toss off?", I replied "last night after you slept". We have never discussed this subject and in the past, I would have been severely embarrased as no-one has ever caught me 'red-handed', so to speak. However, I felt liberated that I had been so open with her but quietly wondered what she thought about it.
Now all day she has been very nice to me. Not in a sexual way at all but she brought me tea and snacks while I worked at my PC and generally spoke to me quite sweetly all day. What do you think of this? I wonder whether a little bit of jealousy might sometimes help (even if the other woman is "Handrietta"!) ?
I feel great today, like some kind of burden has been lifted from me as I imagine a gay person might feel when they come out. I'm a masturbator!!!
