Notsure what to do...

[rexgm]

Hello,

First time to post here, but have been reading for many weeks now. I was BD mid august and she started a PA less than a couple of weeks later. She says she never cheated during our marriage and only started seeing someone after she BD. I believe and she has verified that she had feelings before the BD so I consider that an EA even if he wasnt aware, but i am sure he was. My question is she hasnt filed for divorce yet, but should I speed up the process, since we have been married around 9.5 years. I live in the state of texas and at the 10 year mark I will have to pay spousal support of 20% for 5 yrs. We do have a D5 and she has had some anger issues the last couple of months. She is aware of the divorce about as much as a 5yr old can be. I am at the point where i can truly start to detach. I am doing GAL and we both currently have separate apartments, with 50/50 split of D5. I am giving her some monthly CS just so I know my daughter is taken care of, even though i am not required to yet, since nothing has been filed. I have seen a lawyer and she hasnt, but we plan on doing this without lawyers, however if at any point she changes her mind i will get one for my protection. As with other people on here I am for saving the marriage, but that cant happen as long as she is seeing someone else. The whole point being with limerance and all why would she want to come back if she is getting her current needs met with someone else. I am currently changing my ways for myself so that in my next relationship, whether it be with my wife or someone else, I wont make the same mistakes. I have read most of the DB book, and all of the 5 love languages, and currently reading about getting over affairs. Anyways ty for listening and any advice is welcomed