I understand the stance that I should shake up my wifes world to snap her back to reality, but I am certain this would be the end of our marriage for good.
I mentioned TXHubby, have you read his threads? If not then please do so. His W was actively engaging in an affair and initially he reacted very similar to how you are. All it did was make him miserable. He was trying his hardest to show her what a great homemaker he could be and he put on a happy face and tried to pretend the affair wasn't happening. It went on and on and one day he woke up, miserable at having to face another day, and for maybe the first time since BD realized that HE was the one in control of his life, not his W. He underwent a rapid transformation. The scales fell from his eyes and he saw his W for the lying, cheating POS that she had become. He ceased to care about her. There was no room in his life for a worthless cheater, so he left her to the mess she had created and well and truly got a life. They continued to live under the same roof, but it got to the point where he barely saw her because he was so active in his own life. He quit asking his W where she was going and he quit telling her ANYTHING about his life. Eventually she utterly and completely broke down and -literally- begged him to take her back. But the thing is, he was done and he didn't want her back. The tide shifted and SHE had to do all the work to try and restore the M, which is exactly as it should be with a cheater.
So what I am trying to tell you is that you need to get to that point too, and I think you will. But when you get there, you won't respond with the line above, because you won't care if the M is restored or not. You won't do it to "snap her back to reality", you'll do it to save yourself. And THAT is what might bring her back.
