Hi Nicole! I am really sorry to hear about your health and your sitch with your H. I haven't read your full thread, but I thought I'd pop in some thoughts based on your last post.
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but to really move on and rebuild my life I need to recover from this health problem and move back to the Northeast, get a new job in my field, and be financially independent as well as closer to my closest friends.
Those sound like really good goals.
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There are just limitations at the moment. I'd love to move to Europe, start a new business, and spend my days exercising and meditating but those aren't options right now.
Don't be hard on yourself. That's totally okay considering your situation right now and you have some idea about what you might want your future to look like. I think that's very positive because you are envisioning a fulfilling life and what you want to do does not sound impossible. It may be out of reach right now, but not forever.
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Simply going out at night to bars and clubs isn't something I've ever done nor wish to do now, so that's not they key to getting a life either.
Okay, so it's not something you ever really did. Why not just go out for an evening and be in a social environment? Go to a pub or a lounge as they are more low key. Do you like getting a drink sometimes? Just go and get a drink somewhere and see how that goes. Get some food too. I am saying just try it and see if there is anything about that experience that you like. Don't just rule it out because you've never done it.
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What I really want is a husband who is committed and together we raise our daughter and support each other's careers. I've done many things in life I've wanted to do at a young age and at this age what I wish for is to be with my husband and daughter, but this isn't possible right now.
You answered your own wishes and desires. That ship has sailed for now and you just don't know if you will ever have this with your H. Maybe someone new in the future or maybe with your H, but right now your MR is dead.
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How does everyone here define getting a life?
From my take, GAL is about engaging in activities that are for yourself and that can give you enjoyment, self-confidence, and discovering things about yourself. Some of the standard stuff here you see is about going out doing various things, getting in shape, becoming social etc etc. But you also see people picking up reading more, writing, art etc.
I think you need to think about what you can do for the next six months that can bring you a sense of fun and personal satisfaction. GAL is just so key to start the process of detachment. With your health being fragile right now, what are things that you can do that might be feasible? Do you like movies? Can you go catch a movie sometime? What about a play? Are there books you'd like to read? Can you go for short walks?
GAL is all about 'ME' time. What can you do right now to get that? Some of my GAL right now also includes doing activities with my kids. GAL can burn your wallet/purse, and I always look for free things to do in town or come up with stuff at home. It's amazing how much free stuff there is once you look around. I don't know what the situation is where you live, but it may be worth exploring. Obviously, keeping your health in mind with all of this stuff.
So maybe the possibilities of GAL for you might be limited right now, but I bet you that you can come up with a couple of things that would feed and nurture your spirit.
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This is the worst and darkest time of my life and it's helpful to see how others are coping and found their way to the other side.
Completely with you on this one. The key here is that there is the OTHER SIDE. And this other side is very very promising. I am personally looking forward to getting there and I am getting happier with myself every day. You will too.
